


Watching Over the Peace

by TardisTexan



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-27
Updated: 2013-12-27
Packaged: 2018-01-06 09:00:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1104945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TardisTexan/pseuds/TardisTexan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Is Tasha Lem really River Song?  If so, this is maybe how it happened.  Spoilers for Time of the Doctor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Watching Over the Peace

**Author's Note:**

> There are a lot of theories out there already about how it's possible that Tasha is River. I knew as soon as he told her she had been fighting the psychopath her whole life that she was River. You can't convince me otherwise. So, I've gathered some theories I thought plausible plus my own and came up with this story.
> 
> According to the Tardis Data Core website, The Library was built in the 50th Century and it was 100 years later that River was left there. The Papal Mainframe was active in the 51st and 52nd Century, so the timelines sort of match up. I feel this is totally possible. Who knows what Moff will do, but for now I'm totally going with the theory that they are the same person.

River was heartbroken. The Doctor had told her Goodbye. To her, it meant that he didn't want to see her anymore, he wanted to move on. He wanted her to fade away. She had put on a brave face for him, let him say his goodbye. But fade away? Who the hell did he think he was? For that matter, who did he think _she_ was? He should know her better than that. The pieces of her that were rational understood his need to let go. He was ageless, he would live for years and years. He couldn't mourn his dead wife forever, but River didn't think he would want to let go this soon. It hurt, it hurt deeply. River let herself have a good cry. She wallowed a bit in the sadness, then after a while, she set herself back to work.

She was working on so many different things. She was basically continuing the work she had started in University, researching the Doctor. Researching what actually happened to Gallifrey, the Doctor's timelines and how outside influences changed them, how the Doctor affected history, etc. She had figured out that Gallifrey was safe in a pocket universe. She didn't know how he had done it, but she knew it was true. She had so many threads going that it kept her busy, kept her mind away from her heartache. 

River had stopped leaving the Library to visit him, but she still needed to leave the Library. She needed future data. She had contacts from her research for her Doctorate and had Vastra help her set up a conference call. River began to visit the 54th century and in her research she found herself running into references to The Church again and again. She knew a lot about The Church from her personal dealings with them. They had stamped themselves all over her timeline, but she couldn't shake the feeling that there was something more she was missing. She started looking hard at the origins of the Church. How did the Papal Mainframe start? When had the mainframe become sentient? Who was the first Mother Superious? Then she found it. One tiny reference made by a scholar at a university on Saptic 5. In talking about the origins of the church instead of Papal Mainframe, he had used the word Library. _Library._ And then he had described the first Mother Superious as a woman with blonde curly hair.

River retreated to the Library. Was it true? Could it be true? Could The Church start with her? But The Church had taken her from Amy and Rory, tried to use her to kill the Doctor. Then she saw the beautiful irony in it. It probably was true. No wonder she was such a psychopath. They probably used her own methods against her. But how? How did the Library become the Papal Mainframe? How did she become the Mother Superious? Did she even want to become the Mother Superious? But the more she thought about it, the more she loved the idea. She knew The Church had done a lot of good, that they were protectors and mediators and helpers. The Doctor didn't want her in his life anymore, but she wasn't ready to fade. "I can make a difference, I can make a new life for myself," she thought. And she would help the Doctor. She still loved him and knew he would need her help over and over again, even if this version of him was too stupid to see it. This way, she could do it. She could stay connected to him and live a whole new life.

First, River talked to the others who were in the data core with her. They were all excited at the prospect of being useful again, of getting to be involved in something other than walking in a green meadow under perfect skies day in and day out. They spent some time debating and deciding the guiding principles of the Church. They set up the framework and had everything in place. Everything but one key thing - how to get off the Library planet. River had the money. Once she got her Vortex Manipulator, when she had started traveling to the past, she had started setting up accounts at various banks across the universe. It wasn't cheating, it was long term compound interest, she had said to herself. River had the money for the ship and the Lux family was happy to help her get it built. They transferred the database to the ship and began to travel.

How should they get the message out? They started with some of the "saved". These people had been saved by the Library, and when they received word, they were some of the first followers. Eventually the message grew. River was the first face of The Church. She was just a projection in those days, but she spoke to the people who came to listen. The early followers went from place to place, doing good works, spreading the message. Very quickly River realized how many people were coming, how quickly the message was getting out. She knew it was time to change the face of the Mother Superious. There were already a group of devout Sisters but one of them was very sick. Her physical body was sound, but her mind was not. River's people found a way for the Papal Mainframe to take over the Sister's body, for River to take possession of the body. The link to the data core basically stopped the body from aging, and Tasha Lem became the face of the Church. But inside, she was still River. She was a force to be reckoned with to the outside world, but when she was alone, she cried. She cried after she sent Octavian to the Byzantium crash, knowing he was lost. She watched the Kovarian sect break apart from the main body of the Church and she cried for Amy and Rory, remembering her past. After that she tried, she really did, to put River Song away and dedicate herself to being Tasha.

Tasha loved her work, and the years became decades. She was the Mother Superious and she was immensely fulfilled. But of course, she always kept tabs on the Doctor. Her spies kept her informed and she she made sure that the Mainframe kept up with the research. Because of what she knew, they were monitoring Trenzalore. That is why they were the first to intercept the transmission, understand the meaning, and seal off the planet in order to stop the war that was coming.

The first time she saw the Doctor, she was shocked. It was the angry, leather jacket Doctor. When he spoke to her, she had to sit down to keep from becoming a heap on the floor. She didn't want to be, but she was still River Song, deep inside. But as they spoke, she found her strength returning. She could handle the Doctor, especially a Doctor who didn't know who River Song was. She flirted with him, just a bit, and he went on his way. 

Over the years, she saw various versions of the Doctor and she grew stronger after each one. But one day, she started seeing the tall gangly Doctor she had fallen in love with. It was hard at first, but she told herself that she wasn't River anymore. She, Tasha, could handle that man. She began to flirt with him, and to her surprise, he flirted back. Sure, he acted like a newborn fawn on unsteady legs who wanted to run away as fast as he could, but he would get drawn in and flirt back. What was going on? Did he know? They began to cross paths over and over again. Was he putting himself in her path? Every time she saw him she fell more in love with him, all over again. Why was he showing up so much? What did he know?

Then one day, they came to her and told her about the signal, the message. It was time to go to Trenzalore. She had to step in to keep the peace. Over the years, she had put together what would happen at Trenzalore. And she could not allow the Time War to start anew. She was the protector of the universe as much as the Doctor was. She was the Mother Superious, she was Tasha Lem, and she damn well wasn't going to let a war destroy her universe.

When she saw the Doctor, she decided to throw him off guard, try to figure out what he knew. She acted liked it was the first time she had seen him and commented on his new body. He basically saw through her and it unnerved her. She didn't dare call him Sweetie, but she still flirted with him quite overtly, trying to draw him out or draw him in, she didn't know which. This was a very serious time, but this was her Doctor, her husband. She wanted to take him in her arms and kiss him, but Clara's presence brought her out of River's heart and back into Tasha's. She sent the Doctor down to the surface, so he would discover the meaning of the message. She knew the Doctor would stand. Stand at Trenzalore. He would want to avoid the war as much as she would. They would help each other.

Almost a year later, she needed to speak with him. She had received some intel on an upcoming invasion from one of the alien races surrounding the planet and wanted to give it to him. She could have sent a messenger, but the River in her needed to see him. It had been too long. She sent him a transport and brought him directly into her personal chapel. They were alone, truly alone, for the first time in a very long time. She gave him the message and then laid a hand on his arm. "How are you doing down there, Doctor? Really?" 

The Doctor looked down at her hand, and back up in to her eyes. "I am okay. Knowing you are up here watching over me." 

"I am watching over the peace." she said abruptly and withdrew her hand.

"Why are you so afraid to let me see?" The Doctor asked her. "What did I do? A million things, I'm sure. But what did I do to make you hide so?"

"I don't know what you mean, Doctor." she said, a little too harshly. Her eyes immediately softened in apology and he saw it. This was his chance. He had spent a lot of time down on that planet and it was giving him time to think. He knew this would be where he died, he knew this was the end, and damn it if he wasn't going to fix this. He wanted his wife, and this was his opportunity. His other selves hadn't seen who she was, but they hadn't known River. As soon as he saw the Mother Superious with these eyes, he had known who she was. He had been intrigued. He would see River, his curly haired warrior one day, and then Tasha the next. It baffled him and he didn't understand, but he kept coming back, kept trying to figure it out. Well, the time for guessing was over. Now was time for them to be together.

The Doctor reached out and took her hands. "Oh I think you know exactly what I mean. I see it all over you. You, my bespoke psychopath. My River. My wife."

Tasha's eyes filled up with tears. "How did...." she couldn't finish the question.

"I grew up with Time Lords. Time Lords who changed their face and their personalities, but they were the same people. I know how to recognize a person I know in a body that I don't. And of course I recognized you. Didn't I tell you? I always see you. I _always_ see you." He put a hand on the side of her face, brushing away a tear that had fallen. Then he leaned down and softly kissed her. He did not feel the spark of time energy, and it saddened him just a little. This was not her body. But it wouldn't be, would it? His lips moved over hers, softly, seeking her acceptance, her forgiveness. He didn't feel her respond, he just felt the tears.

He pulled back and looked at her. "River, how? How?"

River pulled on Tasha's strength and looked into his eyes. She slowly said, "I am not River anymore. I am Tasha Lem, the Mother Superious. This is my church, these are my people." She saw that he was going to keep questioning her and she put a hand up. This was going to be hard, but she was still angry with him even after all these years. She continued, "There was a time that I was River Song, your wife, the woman who wanted nothing more than to be with the Doctor. But you sent that woman away. You told River to fade away." She stopped, and her eyes dropped. Very quietly she added, "So, she did. "

The Doctor felt like he had taken a knife to the gut. He let out a long breath. He had thought that it would hurt too much to talk to her after Darillium, but this was far far worse. He fell into a nearby chair and put his head in his hands. He had nothing to say. There were no words that would fix this. But he knew that he was possibly going to be on Trenzalore for years and he was going to die here. He wanted this woman with him, in every way. He had to find a way.

"Ok, Tasha. Please tell me the story."

She told him. She told him everything. How they started and got out of the Library. She left out her pain at his rejection, but he heard it just the same. She told him how the Church grew and she told him of her work. She told him how she was now the protector of worlds and what that meant to her. He watched her as she told the story and he saw River all over. As much as she tried to hide it, she was still his girl, so clever, so strong, so beautiful. What could he say? What could he say to soften her to him?

The Doctor said, "I am so so sorry for the pain I caused to my dear River. I was so wrong, so wrong to let her go." He looked up at her, "I must say, River Song was the most amazing woman I had ever met. Until now. This woman standing before me is even more amazing, if that is possible. Please, please allow me to get to know her. To perhaps love her. Allow me to show her the love that River Song deserved, but was denied because of my stupidity."

Tasha knew the same thing that the Doctor did. That he would die here. It could be tomorrow, it could be years from now. Was he saying this just because his story was ending and he wanted comfort? She decided in an instant that it didn't matter. She loved him, she loved him with all of her heart. It hadn't gone away. She loved this man. She walked over to him and sat down in his lap. She ran her fingers through his hair. "I'm glad that ridiculous wig is gone," she said softly.

He smiled up at her. "And who are you to talk about my hair? What is going on here? So harsh." He reached up and pulled the stick like thing out of her hair. It tumbled down around her shoulders. It wasn't as fabulous as her blonde curls, but it was still beautiful. It was dark and thick, and cascaded in waves to her shoulders. He ran long fingers down through it, loosening it from the tight wrap. He looked at her in wonder. His beautiful wife. Whole new package, but still the same River. He moved the hand behind her neck and pulled her to him. His kiss was soft again, seeking her permission. When he felt her respond, he sighed happily and pulled her down into the chair. He kissed her with abandon, with the passion of all the years they had been separated. One hand moved up and down her back, the other winding into her hair, pulling her closer and closer. He heard her moan, and that was it. He had to be able to touch more of her. He quickly picked her up and moved her to the bed that was an altar, or was it the other way around? He really didn't care. He laid her down, and then crouched over her and kissed her hungrily. "Oh God, River, his River." ran over and over in his mind. But he dared not speak that name aloud. He didn't want to upset her, he just wanted to love her. They made love slowly at first, craving each others touch. Relishing each small sound, each brush of skin against skin. They were starved, starved for each other, and they didn't leave the room for days. 

They wanted to stay in each others arms, but they both had duties. Every new day could bring the breakout of all out war. The Doctor had the citizens of the village to protect, and Tasha had her duties. She was doing everything she could to broker peace, but it wasn't working. 

But they would not let each other go. They began to meet. It wasn't regular, but when they did see each other, it was heaven. They talked and talked, Tasha explaining the Church, the Silence, everything. The Doctor telling her about Gallifrey, and everything that had happened. Years and years went by. The Doctor was aging, but he cherished each moment he had with her. And he never neglected to tell her that he loved her.

Years later, on the day that Clara returned, Tasha summoned him. This wasn't her normal protocol, and he was suspicious. When he saw her, she had his regular delivery of sweets, but he felt something was off immediately. It wasn't just Clara's presence, something was wrong. Very wrong. Then the thing that was now Tasha slipped up. It mentioned River Song like she was something separate, separate from the woman it was speaking through. The Doctor's insides froze. The Daleks had come and taken over the ship. They had taken her body. The Doctor was livid. He wanted to kill every Dalek he could find for this offense. But this was River Song, there was no way she would let a damn Dalek win. He knew she would fight it with everything she had. She had already fought it by not revealing everything she was and everything she knew. He would help her the only way he knew how. He brought her anger. He said terrible terrible things to her to bring her anger, and when he saw it, when he saw her win over that horrible thing, and destroy the Daleks around them, he kissed her. He couldn't help it. He felt the slap and it was delicious. It meant his River was ok. He knew she would be ok. If she could hold on long enough, she could transfer her consciousness back into the data core. She would survive, he knew it. She told him to run, run away. He knew it was the anger talking, that he had tapped into the anger that she felt at him for sending her away all those years ago, but he knew it was also a plea. River would always sacrifice herself for him. Always send him away to protect him. He wanted to protest, but he knew that he couldn't fight her now. She needed to keep that anger burning. She needed it to survive. So, he left. He left her again to protect them both. And then he sent Clara away again also. He would stand. He had the remains of Tasha's Church to help him, but he would stand alone on the fields of Trenzalore.

Tasha, River, Dalek, whoever she was now, knew this was the end and she could not bear to see him die. She went to Clara, Clara would be with him. Clara would comfort him and not hurt him as her appearance would. After sending Clara on, Tasha went to a quiet place, a quiet place to let the Dalek take over and finish her once and for all. But then the most wondrous thing happened. She saw the sky open up and the golden light of the regeneration gift from the Time Lords. She was ecstatic. She went back to the Papal Mainframe, to the council chamber. She had prepared for the day when Tasha's body had to be abandoned. She completed the procedure, and she awoke back in the data core. River's curly hair was a halo in the false sunlight. She sent a message to her commanders. She would continue to lead from inside the core until the next body was ready. Both of them would have new bodies, her and her Doctor. Would they find each other again? Of course they would. Always.


End file.
